Anyone who has had to deal with infertility, or knows someone who has, knows what a rollercoaster ride it is. One day you are up. The next you are down. Raging hormones - often manipulated to the extreme - exacerbate the situation.

When I was trying to get pregnant, it was not uncommon to find in me a puddle of tears, barely able to move or function one day, and then energized and raring to go the next. The slightest thing could send me off the deep end - an excess of strollers on my walking path, the mere presence of the baby food aisle at the grocery store. Nothing was worse than the day my neighbor came over to tell me she was three months pregnant. I went inside and threw up.

Sure it was grief. But I was actively trying to get pregnant. Yes, the odds were stacked against me. But we still had plenty of options. On the days that I collapsed into grief, a powerful, tenacious fear was taking hold of my mind, and my body.

Fear feels awful. For some, it is butterflies in our gut. Others bite their fingernails or tap their foot. Fear makes us sweat and cry. It makes us tired and cranky. We lose our focus and concentration. We live in an undetermined future as though it was the foregone past.

The days that I felt energized were the days I had hope. I had faith one way or another I would become a mom. Those were the days I felt grounded, centered, reasonably in control of my life. Nothing had changed but my attitude and outlook.

Faith feels a lot better than fear. When we are faithful we have an internal conviction, an intuitive knowing that feels comforting and wise. We feel calm and quiet. We are at peace even if only for a few moments amidst the chaos of the day. Certainly faith puts less “wear and tear” on the body, not to mention the spirit.

Faith and fear cannot co-exist in the same moment within us. It is one or the other. And most of the time, it is a choice.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It is not a simple or easy choice. But it is a choice nonetheless. It takes commitment and constant reminding to reframe and look on the bright side, especially when we are facing challenges.

I think this is why I am excited about our new faith mug. There have been so many mornings that I have wanted - no needed - faith. Grabbing for the faith mug I know that fear has moved in and needs to be pushed out. The word reminds me to replace a scary, negative message with a more balanced, confident option.

I refocus. Choose faith. And instantly feel the tranquility, strength and grounding it brings.

Stephanie Ross, MA is the co-founder and co-CEO of Empoword. She is a certified MARI practitioner and maintains a private counseling practice, Intuitive Health Management, in St. Paul, MN where she lives with her twin daughters, Emily and Heather.